Wednesday, April 1, 2015

CARLA MISTEREE MASSY



CARLA 'MISTEREE' MASSEY
WHEN I KNEW

I am 5'1
I never vowed to be the prettiest
Or the most centered
I have a heart to console
Being with him never gets old
So
Let me show you
When I just knew
We are more than an exchange
Of emotions
But a complicated force
You probably won't believe it
He is massive next to me physically
I showed up and unbeknownst to me
Something changed in our sacredness
As the door opened
He saw me and rushed
And collapse into my calmness
His tears are flowing uncontrollably
I am standing in disbelief
I dropped everything
He is so heavy
But I held him up
His fear is elevating and his words jumbled
I am wanting to collapse too
But refuse to
He I love sometimes it's frightening
And true at the same time
He showed me
For the first time he didn't want to hold me
He didn't want to mold with me
He didn't want to evolve with me
He didn't want to trust
Lust
Or learn me
But it's too late
He said this is his vulnerable state
He is terrified
I was horrified
What are you saying to me
He held both of my shoulders tightly
His kiss
Kissed me differently
I tasted his tears
His brows so crunched down above his eyelashes
His hurried state felt how a car crashes
He told me the last one he loved
Didn't know
How to become one with him
He wants to know can I hold him up
When no one else is awake
Will I awaken him
He asked that I won't leave when he mistreats or he angers me
Again I naively ask
What are you saying to me
He said I grow taller in my devour
You empower me
I need you
I wish I didn't
But I do
My tears are flowing too
Why today I ask
He said he didn't want another second to bypass
Without me
It changed us
Because it wasn't what he said
But what he showed me

© Carla 'Misteree' Massey

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