Friday, May 1, 2015

JOLICA DEWEY



JOLICA DEWEY

TO HEAR A MAN SPEAK...

Many a woman has laid with a man
Given herself to him while grabbing at his hand
Basking in his sweat, trembling from his touch
All in hopes of hearing him speak
Giving his approval at best
So unused to the presence of a man within reach
They will bend and change and mold and rearrange
Everything around them, everything within them, everything they stand for
In an effort to catch just a few praising words from his lips
A glimpse into his mind, a peak into his thoughts, a short trip into his feelings, a brief walk through his heart.
And when it doesn’t happen on the first try, she will attempt again and again and again and again
Because her life’s goals, her mission in time, is to take a glimpse into his mind
His approval, his acceptance, his acknowledgement worth more than her own smile
The need to hold on to his words stronger than her own life force
Needing…
Wanting...
Because never in her past, not one day had a man ever walked with her, talked with her, and held her hand
Family dynamics had fallen to the wayside, and everyone was busy, struggling, hustling to survive
There were no father daughter talks, hugs were few and far between
Adoration was misplaced, affection misconstrued…
A potentially strong mind broken down into weak fragments before it even had a chance to form
Seeking out the presence of the strong only to be throttled by the minds of the weak predators searching for the perfect target with the obvious daddy issues...
Empty promises and broken prayers paved the road to satisfying his lust
And because her heart rested open and bleeding on her sleeve he knew just what to do, how much to give, to keep her reaching for more
False hope kept her strung along, he pulls back and she reaches just a little further
Because if she gives him more, smiles a certain way, dresses in his favorite garbs, prepares his favorite meal with the last of her funds, makes herself available for his every beck and call
He may, maybe, one day, look into her eyes and say job well done…
The approval that her father forgot.

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