ANDREW SCOTT

 

 

Scars Are Bleeding (Villanelle)

 

Thought I was healing

the hurt had been laid to bed

Scars are bleeding

 

hell history turning

memories still feel misled

Thought I was healing

 

an infection keeps coming

the mind is how it is fed

Scars are bleeding

 

conflict within spiraling

anxiety rests in my head

Thought I was healing

 

the body is pleading

to control the unsaid

Scars are bleeding

 

cannot let go of this feeling

the forever dreads

Thought I was healing

Scars are bleeding

February 8, 2024

©Andrew Scott – Just a Maritime Boy 2024

 

Tired Of Smiling

 

Generally, I walk through this world

with an appreciative smile.

Happy to be breathing in the earth’s air.

As of late, this has become harder

as I watch and see what is going on

in this world all around me.

 

Read in our local news

a local synagogue had their windows broken

in the show of the night

by a hidden, cowardly person.

Leaving holes in this sacred place

that means so much too many

who visit for their faith.

How can they feel safe now?

 

Walking around our city in the cold season,

seeing ones who do not have a home,

without those heated walls and beds.

Every winter season there seems to be more

living outside finding places to stay warm.

Hoping for doses of hot food.

How do they have the spirit to stay alive?

 

Hearing stories of an overcrowded hospital

with understaffed caregivers.

Precious patients lining the hallways,

laying in delicate conditions,

Feeling alone and scared,

taking longer to heal.

How are they to feel cared for?

 

The weight of all I am seeing

is resting squarely on me

causing changes in my emotions.

The calm demeanour is shifting

and it is showing on my face.

Tired of faking and smiling.

February 8, 2024

©Andrew Scott – Just a Maritime Boy 2024

 

 

Annie’s Worried

 

Annie drops the children

off to school and takes a breath.

Another morning full of hustle

to get everything off scheduled.

Hiding her emotions from the kids.

With every step, Annie’s worried.

 

Annie keeps her smiles

for friends to see on book night.

Not saying a lot as she cannot focus

on the words of each page.

Faking laughs and enthusiasm.

She is hiding, Annie’s worried.

 

Anytime the parents or in-laws visit,

Annie plays the perfect host,

chatting away over coffee or tea.

Making sure visits are perfect.

Annie’s worried.

 

The sun goes down.

With a glass of wine, Annie thinks,

mind full of never-ending thoughts

that cannot be shared.

Uncertain who would understand.

Annie’s worried.

 

Annie thinks of her partner in crime,

who is away as a peacekeeper

for another four to five months.

It is supposed to be safe

however, she feels the stress

in his voice when he calls.

 

The news is only showing disaster

in those parts of the world.

Annie sees it all and waits

for the day he comes home safely.

 

Annie is strong and holding the emotions at bay.

Annie’s worried.

February 16, 2024

©Andrew Scott – Just a Maritime Boy 2024

 

Dear Stranger XIX

 

Dear Stranger,

I wish I could ask you

how you are today

however you are now gone

and I cannot.

 

So many questions for you.

The many thoughts going through

that angered the mind of yours.

Where did they come from?

 

There had to be a reason

for you to enter your school

with anger in your trigger finger.

 

Where there issues at home?

Bullies in your classroom?

Or a desire to be known?

 

There had to be alternatives

that were thought about

as most of us would not

have taken the path

to destruction and death.

 

What were your thoughts

as you pulled the trigger

on innocent people

and then yourself?

 

So many unanswered questions

by all of us that knew you

or did not know you.

 

As they cannot be answered

you will be a stranger to us all.

January 17, 2024

©Andrew Scott – Just a Maritime Boy 2024

 

Did Not

 

Looking back through the mind’s memories

that constantly flow in and out.

I can safely say to myself

I did, where, in the end, you did not.

 

From the moment I saw you

the heart skipped beats, the beauty.

I said to myself, if I ever get a chance,

knew and know I would,

give anything for you.

 

Wanting nothing but for you to be you.

All I wanted to protect is you

from anyone and everyone.

This was and is how I felt and feel.

 

When it finally came our time

so many words and emotions were said

about our connection that is felt by everyone.

 

We supported and held each other

in the bad and good times.

Tears of caring were given.

 

Believe that was why

my body and mind was hit with a shock,

with everything that was shared,

I did not see you leaving.

 

I felt the grey clouds coming

when our usual words became silent.

That was when I fought for us.

Sadly, unexpected, you did not.

January 24, 2024

©Andrew Scott – Just a Maritime Boy 2024

 

 

ANDREW SCOTT