JOLICA DEWEY

JOLICA DEWEY

TO HEAR A MAN SPEAK...

Many a woman has laid with a man

Given herself to him while grabbing at his hand

Basking in his sweat, trembling from his touch

All in hopes of hearing him speak

Giving his approval at best

So unused to the presence of a man within reach

They will bend and change and mold and rearrange

Everything around them, everything within them, everything they stand for

In an effort to catch just a few praising words from his lips

A glimpse into his mind, a peak into his thoughts, a short trip into his feelings, a brief walk through his heart.

And when it doesn’t happen on the first try, she will attempt again and again and again and again

Because her life’s goals, her mission in time, is to take a glimpse into his mind

His approval, his acceptance, his acknowledgement worth more than her own smile

The need to hold on to his words stronger than her own life force

Needing…

Wanting...

Because never in her past, not one day had a man ever walked with her, talked with her, and held her hand

Family dynamics had fallen to the wayside, and everyone was busy, struggling, hustling to survive

There were no father daughter talks, hugs were few and far between

Adoration was misplaced, affection misconstrued…

A potentially strong mind broken down into weak fragments before it even had a chance to form

Seeking out the presence of the strong only to be throttled by the minds of the weak predators searching for the perfect target with the obvious daddy issues...

Empty promises and broken prayers paved the road to satisfying his lust

And because her heart rested open and bleeding on her sleeve he knew just what to do, how much to give, to keep her reaching for more

False hope kept her strung along, he pulls back and she reaches just a little further

Because if she gives him more, smiles a certain way, dresses in his favorite garbs, prepares his favorite meal with the last of her funds, makes herself available for his every beck and call

He may, maybe, one day, look into her eyes and say job well done…

The approval that her father forgot.