NARGIZ ISMAYILOVA

 

Don`T I Look The World With The Eyes Of Seventeen Milyon Refugee Children?...

 

Already children are unhappy in my soul As the gaps grow ...

My pain lasts like winter nights

While a Chernobyl silence reigned in my heart ...

What are these Khojaly cries, Arakan reliefs in my mind? As you don't remember me as East Turkestan, my dear, More stinking hands than Yamuna trying to caress my hair

Then you walk away from me with a meteorite indifference ... The whole earth is praying for it,

Exept me ... Are you aware?

All April 1 is still celebrated as the Day of Laughter in this world... Oh pitty you are the Children's Day of the world

Which starving 250 million children … Your laughs are not sincerely…

But you still laugh ...

Are you the center of the whole world?

Why does everyone congratulate you, as everyone congratulates a pilot? And dispatcher?

A question make me anxious since my childhood ... How did Heyly kill Gwen?

Why do straight concepts make happy everyone? Is this Euclid's disease?

Why is everyone afraid of origami loves? While you look at the world from the palaces. My non-existent world is rolling

To Anderson's tales,

All the butterflies laugh disgustly to the length of my life, Even little Saxes, nicknamed Sinober ...

I hear the squeaks of fried spiders at the base of their teeth ... I don't believe the tales you tell me anymore –

Also to Duymajik...

As you test me with afar,

The laughings tasting coffee antidepressant influence drops to my world ... The sun doesn`t rise in my soul today

 

While all want to touch my wounds. So why am I so happy in my ruins? Does that make you angry, my dear?

Don`t I look the world wıth the eyes of seventeen milyon refugee children?... But I know that you are the cause of all these shortcomings.

 

Fish Swims In My Spirit ...

 

I want to live without thinking.

Gifting all the rain of thought to dry deserts, and so quietly, I want to live silently.

My thoughts disturb my silent. My heartbeats disturb me.

I hear my blood circulation.

The sound of my broken dreams.

As I realize the worthlessness of values, my soul kneels in front of the evil as the most helpless, helpless ...

I can't get up as I try to get up, my knees are bleeding with ruins of confidence. The realities nettle my soul as the example of the nettle.

I feel suffocate with rage...

No, it looks like I'm drowning ...

I do not want to raise my hands and fight.

The waters of all the oceans fill to my body from my eyes. I see everything in blue.

Fish swim in my soul. My hair is algae.

My tears are flowing ... Fish swim in my soul...

All the goldfish are helpless in front of my wishes ...

I want to tear down the last cries of the man in my soul. I want to be quiet.

My thoughts make mermaids laugh ....

Rocks are rubbed in my palms ...

There are vortices.

Waves do not push me to shore.

I annoy the waters of the ocean ...

My crossing high sea the waves of the ocean cannot bear. I'm looking for all the lost sailors, sunken ships ...

I want to lose my brain longing for the feeling of disappearance. In the Mariana trench.

I want to take refuge in the Bermuda Triangle ...

I would like to find those shafts left over from the “Titanic” and ask Chopin to listen to me. I'm crushed, I'm falling apart ...

I am going to be fragmented.

I fill the pores of the ocean stones.

Then a cloud steals my soul, I rise, I fly ...

I get algae and finally bluish again ...

I annoy the sky ...

Clouds bring me back to earth ...

 

The angels do not need even "when Caesar's right given to Caesar", fleeing from the weaknesses of humanity ...

I am thrown into the "cursed" land. Only the land understands me.

He allows me to take refuge in him. The roots of an old oak embrace me. God gifts me different colors.

I refuse. Never want those pale cynical colors. I never get permission by anyone.

I want to be free.

I don`t want to be indifferent roses,

I don't want to be a goldfish; I don't want to be a human ...

You don't like red, my dear, you know that goldfish are not gold ... You don't love people either, my dear, I know that ...

But you love violets.

Oh It seems I am turning violet slowly.

 

Van Goghun Sorrow Is Sadder Perhaps, But For The First Time I Saw The Waste Of The World In All Your Laughter!

 

Today I saw the Chernobyl of the oldest people in your eyes. Today, for the first time, I sobbed like old people.

I reconciled with my fate, as a toy in a baby's cradle, doomed to eternal silence. Like the noisy signs of rusted hopes deafening,

everything was unthinkable, helpless, but lifeless. Today your lips were freeze as the corpse, were dirty. I loved you, but for the first time was afraid of you.

I saw a group of red-clad angels without wings in the deserts of innocence turned into a lake of blood.

All the swans are tired, the laws chewed, I saw the sky covered with spider webs.

Today I saw surrendered the stars, the moon, and even the sun that I loved.

For the first time, for the first time, I gathered all my courage and opened my eyes wide, very wide as wide as possible.

For the first time, I was ashamed the nakedness of realities. Today all your kisses were same shape and annoying Your words was boring my heartbeat!

The sand grains were weathering my pupillary as much as possible. I saw all the flowers in the Arab Spring withered.

For the first time today, I cried with one eye for my today and past!

For the first time, I saw my shores abandoned and ships without a compass. Van Goghun Sorrow is sadder, perhaps,

but for the first time I saw the waste of the world in all your laughter!

 

your oil-smelling lies with nicotine-like irritability draging my existence into a stupid habit ...

While my cheeks rubbed into her outstretched hands for comfort ... Today, for the first time, I saw my mother old.

 

NARGIZ ISMAYILOVA

 

NARGIZ ISMAYILOVA was born on March 12, 1986 in Ordubad. In 2008 she graduated from Nakhchivan State University with a degree in "Azerbaijani language and literature", and in 2012 from Ganja State University with a degree in "Literature of Foreign Peoples" with honors. Nargiz Ismayilova worked as a senior researcher at the Department of Literary Studies of the Institute of Literature and Art at the Nakhchivan Branch of ANAS. She served as Chairman of the Council of Young Scientists and Specialists of the department. She is a doctoral student of the Department of World Literature and Comparative Studies of the Institute of Literature named after Nizami of ANAS and conducts scientific research in the field of "Azerbaijani prose of postmodernism and independence in Italian literature". She is a member of the Azerbaijan Writers 'Union, the Azerbaijan Journalists' Union and the World Union of Young Turkish Writers. She is a Doctor of Philosophy in Philology, majoring in "Azerbaijani Literature" and "World Literature". She is the author of 2 monographs, 60 scientific, more than 400 newspaper articles, 7 fiction, 8 translated works. Nargiz Ismayilova was awarded the "Ali Bey Huseynzadeh Award" established by the Writers' Union of Azerbaijan and the "Literary Newspaper" in 2017. She was elected "Writer of the Year" and "Journalist of the Year" in our autonomous republic. She was awarded the honorary diploma "Scientist of the Year" of the Nakhchivan Branch of ANAS. She was awarded at the IV Euroasian Literary Festival of Festivals (LIFFT) in Baku. She is a Presidential Award winner. She is the project manager of the international conference "A bridge from Nakhchivan to Konya: Nematullah Nakhchivani".