CARLA MISTEREE MASSY

CARLA 'MISTEREE' MASSEY

WHEN I KNEW

I am 5'1

I never vowed to be the prettiest

Or the most centered

I have a heart to console

Being with him never gets old

So

Let me show you

When I just knew

We are more than an exchange

Of emotions

But a complicated force

You probably won't believe it

He is massive next to me physically

I showed up and unbeknownst to me

Something changed in our sacredness

As the door opened

He saw me and rushed

And collapse into my calmness

His tears are flowing uncontrollably

I am standing in disbelief

I dropped everything

He is so heavy

But I held him up

His fear is elevating and his words jumbled

I am wanting to collapse too

But refuse to

He I love sometimes it's frightening

And true at the same time

He showed me

For the first time he didn't want to hold me

He didn't want to mold with me

He didn't want to evolve with me

He didn't want to trust

Lust

Or learn me

But it's too late

He said this is his vulnerable state

He is terrified

I was horrified

What are you saying to me

He held both of my shoulders tightly

His kiss

Kissed me differently

I tasted his tears

His brows so crunched down above his eyelashes

His hurried state felt how a car crashes

He told me the last one he loved

Didn't know

How to become one with him

He wants to know can I hold him up

When no one else is awake

Will I awaken him

He asked that I won't leave when he mistreats or he angers me

Again I naively ask

What are you saying to me

He said I grow taller in my devour

You empower me

I need you

I wish I didn't

But I do

My tears are flowing too

Why today I ask

He said he didn't want another second to bypass

Without me

It changed us

Because it wasn't what he said

But what he showed me

© Carla 'Misteree' Massey