BARBARA EHRENTREU

BARBARA EHRENTREU

TRUE REFLECTION:

MIRROR MIRROR ON THE WALL

As a girl I didn’t believe the image as

I viewed my visage

the reflection not what I expected

as much as I saw myself I didn’t see me

I didn’t trust the vision of that person

sometimes feeling as if I were outside

of myself looking at this body

always judging it to be lacking

the face too plain and the smile too wide

my backside too large and breasts too small

and since I never saw the real me I never knew

the real girl who stared back

for I believed this girl too fat, too ugly, too flat chested

unlike Snow White’s wicked stepmother’s

mirror mirror on the wall

mine always answered not you and never you

So I walked through life with this image

and then the world discovered me

a naive teen who would saunter

past store windows afraid to peek at herself

this deluded girl who wondered why suddenly

men were yelling out of car windows

entreating her attention, whistling as she passed,

wanted to place herself into a paper bag to hide

from the unwanted sudden attention

wanted to take cover in her room

and crawl under blankets

to escape the peeling of her psyche’s skin

under the microscope of the light of the

reflection of the mirrors in the eyes of

unknown men who saw a different image

when she stared again at the familiar girl

the flat surface of the mirror revealing

only the same imperfections she saw all the time

she wondered if her mind’s eye were clouded

by the sad thoughts conjured each day

contemplating the reason for this distortion —

the contrast between her brain’s message

and the reality of this

new blown reflection in strangers’ eyes

and still not trusting the platitudes of her parents —

she placed it all inside of her

Never believing her mirror until

a young man sauntered into her life

and when she saw her true image

in the mirror of his eyes

she embraced the glittering glow

reflecting into her own

in that moment she became

the vision of her dreams and

no longer needed the mirror

for she had the truth in the

sharp eyed gaze of her hazel-eyed love

copyright  @2016 by Barbara Ehrentreu

Published in

You’ll Probably Forget Me: Living With and Without Hal

OBSERVATION OF A WOMAN IMAGINED

There was a quiet dignity to her

and yet you could not see beneath

the layers she placed so carefully

over the center of her soul

creating a shroud surrounding her

an amorphous shadow in which

she walked as if the world should

touch her she might melt or disappear

but if you searched her eyes

those limpid azure pools of sorrow

you knew she kept the suffering at bay

and at times when she thought no one

could see her a tiny smile peeked out

as small as a star’s reflection and only

for that moment you imagined her life

before she had retreated into the depths

perhaps filled with lots of friends and music

a tiny crease reflecting the smile’s demise

and still you wondered at the cause of her

sorrow and pain

She shunned the sun and preferred to

live in night’s undefined presence

arriving before closing to her favorite cafe

to sip a little espresso and read alone

Did she dream of her past life when she

walked in daylight and hope followed her

as a willing servant?

Was there a lost love for whom she pined

as she delicately held the tiny espresso cup and

sipped the warm brown liquid?

She was an enigma of walking beauty

her skin seemed like porcelain as if

she might crack if the world

found its way past her defenses

a modern day Mona Lisa come to life

hiding in her brownstone and appearing

only when it was dark when most had

gone home to their significant others

wandering alone aimlessly down the

winding streets searching for lost dreams.

Copyright @ 2016 by Barbara Ehrentreu

SEARCHING FOR ME

In the hazy moments

between wake and sleep

I miss you

the texture of your beard

the hazel eyed sharpness

of your gaze on mine

the sound of soft snores

the circle of your arms

the place on your chest

chiseled from years to

fit my head and soaked

with tears when life

overstepped its boundaries

the quiet moments backed

with sounds of jazz or rock

and the joy of your smile

washing my day with

bright vermillion

you swept me into the

tornado of your life

and I held on tight

a willing passenger

as we careened

giddy and eager as it swirled

and I drifted in its debris

as you swallowed it all

and now I must search

for the pieces of me.

Copyright 2015

BARBARA EHRENTREU

Published in

You’ll Probably Forget Me: Living With and Without Hal

BARBARA EHRENTREU is from Brooklyn New York, but lives in Stamford, Connecticut, She was in the Society’s 2016 Poetry Contest, and several of her poems are published in the anthologies, World Poetry Open Mic, Prompted: An International Collection of Poetry, Beyond the Dark Room, Storm Cycle and Backlit Barbell. She has a blog, Barbara's Meanderings, and she hosts a radio show on Blog Talk Radio, Red River Radio Tales from the Pages, once a month. She is a member of Greenwich Pen Letters and SCBWI.