BORCHE PANOV

 

Double 

 

Far away from home, in the waiting room of a railway station,

all of a sudden I was captivated by a young woman’s gaze.

She approached to me as she was enchanted and said

that I looked like her brother, which was horribly unbelievable.

And she was telling me about him in details,

he had gone to war,

got married, and her niece was born,

and she has got our eyes,

he had been in a fierce quarrel with his father for his persistence to go to war.

 

Suddenly, she went through the scar over my arcade

with her forefinger telling me that he didn’t have one –

how did you get this, she asked me,

A snowball with a rock inside got me when I was a kid – I said.

There were lots of questions in her eyes,

but she couldn’t ask me for my name either because there was no time –

oh! do you remember that our roof was full of doves,

and you were telling me that we were living under the umbrella of love cooing

- she was cooing to me, and I looked to the stone prayer for the bliss of the saints and the apostles over the near cathedral

and I had to get into the train responding for the last passenger call.

I went far away with my muted answers –

I was going to war, as well

to the other side of the border – alone against myself!

 

Tattooed Sea

 

My uncle returned from the army with a sea

tattooed on his chest,

there was a woman with a fish tail above the sea,

she was mermaid – he said,

but she smelled on armpit rather than on fish,

and under the sea – an anchor.

My cousins – young wrestlers copied him,

they also got their seas tattooed on their biceps

and they made the sea waves to dance,

it was a storm – they said when they wrestled.

That was the sea in my family.

When I entered the real sea,

I was back-to-back with the wave that raised me

and I thought that I could escape to the shore,

but I got crashed on the rocks.

And I was knitting a chain of sand for a long time

and I was waiting for that blue sea to pull in my chain

and I was figuring out that the time of love is a drop

that is longing for its ocean.

 

Matchstick

 

I have lit a matchstick in the middle of this winter –

a little bauble of warmth that hovers

in front of the Christmas tree in the dark hospital hall.

Lonely hall in the dead of night

and Christmas lights that twinkle like good and bad

memories.

Homeless people have found their homes in the waiting

room.

Used to sleep with the sleeplessness, they are sitting like

patients

that have never got to be examined by the doctor.

How strange it is, this emergency department:

the Christmas tree in the hall twinkles on our faces

and presents to us all that we would rather hide.

For instance, that love is like the misery.

As much as we want to hide it –

we will never be able to make it happen,

just as much as the consciousness –

dragon nest that flashes in our head,

yet it’s not fire like it is in the riddle of my grandmother,

nor is a station at which all those who travel nowhere

are waiting and living,

but they constantly switching their places from which we

all depart.

I have lit a matchstick in the middle of this winter.

A little bauble of warmth

that hovers in the middle of the Christmas tree

in the long hospital hall

and the big, silent snowflakes among which I return

home…

 

Translated From Macedonian Into English: Daniela Andonovska-Trajkovska

 

BORCHE PANOV

 

BORCHE PANOV was born on September 27, 1961 in Radovish, The Republic of North Macedonia, and graduated from the ''Sts. Cyril and Methodius'' University of Skopje in Macedonian and South Slavic Languages (1986). He has been a member of the “Macedonian Writers’ Association” since 1998. He has published: a) poetry: “What did Charlie Ch. See from the Back Side of the Screen” (1991), “Cyclone Eye” (1995), “Stop, Charlie” (2002), “Tact” (2006), “Riddle of Glass” (2008), “Basilica of Writing” (2010), “Mystical Supper” (2012), “Vdah” (The Breathe of Life) (2014), “Human Silences” (2016), “Uhania” (2017), “Shell” (2018), “A Room of my Time Zones” (2021); and several essays and plays: “The Fifth Season of the Year” (2000), “The Doppelgänger Town” (2011), “A Dead-end in the Middle of an Alley” (2002), “Homo Soapiens” (2004), “Catch the Sleep-walker” (2005), “Split by its own Nose” (2006), and “Summertime Cinema” (2007). He has also published poetry books in other languages: “Particles of Hematite” (2016 - in Macedonian and Bulgarian language - Bulgaria), “Vdah” (2017 – in Slovenian - Slovenia), “Balloon Shaving” (2018 – Serbian - Serbia), “Fotostiheza” (“Photopoesis, 2019 – Bulgarian - Bulgaria), “Blood that Juggles with 80000 Thoughts” (2021 in Croatian - Croatia), “Underground Apple” in Arabic language (UAE, 2021), “Underground Apple” in English language in Netherlands (2021), “Dandelion Cadence” (co-author) in India (2021). His poetry was published in a number of anthologies, literary magazines and journals both at home and abroad, and his works are translated into more than 40 languages. Panov works as a Counselor for Culture and Education at the municipality of Radovish, and he is also an Art Coordinator for the “International Karamanov’s Poetry Festival”, held in Radovish annually (the first edition of the festival was in 1967). He has won several literary awards such as: Premio Mondiale "Tulliola- Renato Filippelli" in Italy for his book “Balloon Shaving” (2021), International Award of Excellence "City of Galateo-Antonio De Ferrariis" (Italy, Rome, 2021), Premio "Le Occasioni" in Italy (among 662 participants), Sahitto Literary Award 2021, and “Predrag Matvejevic” in Croatia for his book “Balloon Shaving”.