BARBARA EHRENTREU

BARBARA EHRENTREU

My Thoughts Turn to You

I don’t think of you often, except when I do

a glimpse of a Klondike bar reminds me how

we used to buy those for you sugar-free

and the memory brings tears as if a violet

mist had suddenly formed in front of my eyes

other memories slide in pushing this one away

your smile a beacon reminding me of

sunrises we caught together the sky brightening

as purple clouds tinged with orange and the

sun peeked over the horizon

my sleepy eyes wanting the darkness to stay for

a few more hours so we could slip into bed

and now I skip the sunrises and the mornings

when your voice would be telling me current

events as you went about your routines

and I forced myself to wake and join you sometimes

so I could feel the energy you emoted

Or on days when I remained half asleep

you cooking eggs for yourself —the smell remaining

as a reminder of your presence

the pan and your utensils in the sink

left as remnants of your lonely repast

and now I sleep through sunrises and wake to the

middle of the day when morning is over

no smells of eggs loiter and thoughts of you are not present

except when I look around the room

and remember each day you are not here

and so the day begins as sunlight fills

the bedroom and I wish to slide under covers and

sleep until memories of your face and your voice

no longer flood my head and the stark reminders

of your loss are not around my space

And though I kid myself into believing

I can accept you are gone

What I would give for the feel of your bearded face beneath

my hand and the brush of your lips on my cheek.

Copyright 2016 by Barbara Ehrentreu

Taken from: You’ll Probably Forget Me: Living With and Without Hal by Barbara Ehrentreu 

SEARCHING FOR ME

In the hazy moments

between wake and sleep

I miss you

the texture of your beard

the hazel eyed sharpness

of your gaze on mine

the sound of soft snores

the circle of your arms

the place on your chest

chiseled from years to

fit my head and soaked

with tears when life

overstepped its boundaries

the quiet moments backed

with sounds of jazz or rock

and the joy of your smile

washing my day with

bright vermillion

you swept me into the

tornado of your life

and I held on tight

a willing passenger

as we careened

giddy and eager as it swirled

and I drifted in its debris

as you swallowed it all

and now I must search

for the pieces of me.

Copyright 2016 by Barbara Ehrentreu

Taken from: You’ll Probably Forget Me: Living With and Without Hal by Barbara Ehrentreu

UNCOUPLED

I‘m in Starbucks

watching people

coupled and single

drinking, eating, together

or alone on computers or phones

and I remember those

days wanting to be alone

away from him when

things got too intense

and now my unused heart

pines for the time

when I knew I would see

his face and hear his voice

no matter what he said

always a part of him

Now I am like the lonely

swan mother who lost her mate

Uncoupled - alone in the

flow of life

Copyright 2016

Taken from: You’ll Probably Forget Me: Living With and Without Hal

by Barbara Ehrentreu

BARBARA EHRENTREU

BARBARA EHRENTREU: Barbara Ehrentreu grew up in the United States in Brooklyn and moved to Queens. Her native language is English. She has lived and taught in Long Island, Buffalo, NY and Westchester, NY as well as a year in Los Angeles, CA. She has a Masters Degree in Reading and Writing K-12. Currently she is retired from teaching and living in Stamford, CT with her family. If I Could Be Like Jennifer Taylor won second prize in Preditors & Editors as Best Young Adult Book for 2011.  It was inspired by Paula Danziger for her children's writing workshop at Manhattanville College. Her second book, After, considers what can happen to a teen when her father becomes ill with a heart attack. It is based on her own experiences when her husband had a heart attack and the aftermath of what she and her family experienced. Barbara also writes poetry and has published a book, You’ll Probably Forget Me: Living With and Without Hal and several of her poems are published in the anthologies, Prompted: An International Collection of Poetry, Beyond the Dark Room, Storm Cycle and Backlit Barbell. She has a blog, Barbara's Meanderings, and she hosts a radio show on Blog Talk Radio, Red River Radio Tales from the Pages, once a month. She is a member of PEN Letters and SCBWI.