Thursday, December 1, 2016

BARBARA EHRENTREU

BARBARA EHRENTREU


TRUE REFLECTION:
MIRROR MIRROR ON THE WALL

As a girl I didn’t believe the image as
I viewed my visage
the reflection not what I expected
as much as I saw myself I didn’t see me
I didn’t trust the vision of that person
sometimes feeling as if I were outside
of myself looking at this body
always judging it to be lacking
the face too plain and the smile too wide
my backside too large and breasts too small
and since I never saw the real me I never knew
the real girl who stared back
for I believed this girl too fat, too ugly, too flat chested
unlike Snow White’s wicked stepmother’s
mirror mirror on the wall
mine always answered not you and never you

So I walked through life with this image
and then the world discovered me
a naive teen who would saunter
past store windows afraid to peek at herself
this deluded girl who wondered why suddenly
men were yelling out of car windows
entreating her attention, whistling as she passed,
wanted to place herself into a paper bag to hide
from the unwanted sudden attention
wanted to take cover in her room
and crawl under blankets
to escape the peeling of her psyche’s skin
under the microscope of the light of the
reflection of the mirrors in the eyes of
unknown men who saw a different image

when she stared again at the familiar girl
the flat surface of the mirror revealing
only the same imperfections she saw all the time
she wondered if her mind’s eye were clouded
by the sad thoughts conjured each day
contemplating the reason for this distortion —
the contrast between her brain’s message
and the reality of this
new blown reflection in strangers’ eyes
and still not trusting the platitudes of her parents —
she placed it all inside of her

Never believing her mirror until
a young man sauntered into her life
and when she saw her true image
in the mirror of his eyes
she embraced the glittering glow
reflecting into her own
in that moment she became
the vision of her dreams and
no longer needed the mirror
for she had the truth in the
sharp eyed gaze of her hazel-eyed love

copyright  @2016 by Barbara Ehrentreu

Published in
You’ll Probably Forget Me: Living With and Without Hal






OBSERVATION OF A WOMAN IMAGINED

There was a quiet dignity to her
and yet you could not see beneath
the layers she placed so carefully
over the center of her soul
creating a shroud surrounding her
an amorphous shadow in which
she walked as if the world should
touch her she might melt or disappear
but if you searched her eyes
those limpid azure pools of sorrow
you knew she kept the suffering at bay
and at times when she thought no one
could see her a tiny smile peeked out
as small as a star’s reflection and only
for that moment you imagined her life
before she had retreated into the depths
perhaps filled with lots of friends and music
a tiny crease reflecting the smile’s demise
and still you wondered at the cause of her
sorrow and pain

She shunned the sun and preferred to
live in night’s undefined presence
arriving before closing to her favorite cafe
to sip a little espresso and read alone
Did she dream of her past life when she
walked in daylight and hope followed her
as a willing servant?
Was there a lost love for whom she pined
as she delicately held the tiny espresso cup and
sipped the warm brown liquid?
She was an enigma of walking beauty
her skin seemed like porcelain as if
she might crack if the world
found its way past her defenses
a modern day Mona Lisa come to life
hiding in her brownstone and appearing
only when it was dark when most had
gone home to their significant others
wandering alone aimlessly down the
winding streets searching for lost dreams.

Copyright @ 2016 by Barbara Ehrentreu







SEARCHING FOR ME

In the hazy moments
between wake and sleep
I miss you
the texture of your beard
the hazel eyed sharpness
of your gaze on mine
the sound of soft snores
the circle of your arms
the place on your chest
chiseled from years to
fit my head and soaked
with tears when life
overstepped its boundaries
the quiet moments backed
with sounds of jazz or rock
and the joy of your smile
washing my day with
bright vermillion
you swept me into the
tornado of your life
and I held on tight
a willing passenger
as we careened
giddy and eager as it swirled
and I drifted in its debris
as you swallowed it all
and now I must search
for the pieces of me.

Copyright 2015
BARBARA EHRENTREU

Published in
You’ll Probably Forget Me: Living With and Without Hal


BARBARA EHRENTREU is from Brooklyn New York, but lives in Stamford, Connecticut, She was in the Society’s 2016 Poetry Contest, and several of her poems are published in the anthologies, World Poetry Open Mic, Prompted: An International Collection of Poetry, Beyond the Dark Room, Storm Cycle and Backlit Barbell. She has a blog, Barbara's Meanderings, and she hosts a radio show on Blog Talk Radio, Red River Radio Tales from the Pages, once a month. She is a member of Greenwich Pen Letters and SCBWI.

5 comments :

  1. Barbara this is outstanding Poetry... I am so proud to call you friend..

    ReplyDelete
  2. Deborah, Thank you so much for the beautiful showcase!! I will let everyone know!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Barbara is a fantastic writer in her own right .... moving, inspirational ... she can draw emotions out of you that you held inside afraid to put them out there, for she is honest in her approach to sadness, loneliness and joy and laughter and love .... she is beautiful inside and out and I'm proud to call her a friend.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I love the work you do i love your poems they are heartfelt and wonderful keep up the great work Barbara for sure.

    ReplyDelete