Thursday, November 1, 2018


Thanks for having God and my family in my life.

I am in the comfort of your lies
I had seen enough
I placed my head on my pillow and realized
That I shared too many tears at
Every fight of every night
There is always a might to a break up
How did it come this far
Suffer for all
We fall apart
Drowning from all of your deceit
From wanting another
There is no longing to turning back now
The clock stop ticking
Within the wishing you want me back now
It is broken down buildings
A baby crying
Cloudy skies
It is my sadness
Dealing with your madness
Raining on my window panes
Nature without color
A bird that can’t sing
All hues turning into blues
Nothing but midnight skies
It is my sadness

No ambition is left
A heart that can’t be touched
Love’s drawing in your enemies
I can’t bare to think
That I continue to stare
At the past behind me
Can’t even bare to hold my head up
At the dare of a break up
For the first time
It is my sadness before me


Love, bliss, and happiness I thought I had
Only saw sunny skies
But on the wrong day
I checked my watch
But he came out the wrong time
He smiles and said the right words
Turned out that he wasn’t the right man

His dark brown eyes
Turned into dark pools of deceit
Hugs and kisses led to false hope for a future
Fire and passion changed into
Untouchable sparks
No desire

There is nothing left
That I thought once was
I can never understand him
He’s speaking another language
Or he gives out another formula
I am always at the other end of a book
He’s on another page
We are on the same subject
But we read between the lines
By the words we speak

What it is
Is what it is not
What real love is…
Is not in you

As he completes my sentences
Mirages of our fate, slowly appeared
Our related destiny led to no correlation
Led to my self-doubt of our relations
Our relationship destroyed
As my heart was taken from me

What it is
Is what it is not
What real love is…
Is not in you
Led to confusion


Fix the pieces of broken frames from my past
Put them all together
Of the love we had
We had forgotten
Letting go of the fireworks,
All the dreams as the way of constellations
I thought our future behold
Until the earth stops turning
Along the way I unveil my hurt and pain,
I found the way to fix my heart
To sustain again

Threw away torn love letters
From my past of the love we had
We had forgotten
I broke away free
Depression suffocating me
Underlining of all
Longing for your change of heart
Wanting you to love me again
Feelings and warnings seeping through me
Fear of loneliness
Waiting for you to show me love

I put them together
And found a reason
Dead roses, torn up pictures
Pawned rings
I realized
I am the only one with my blood
Running in my bloodstreams
Leaving my heart fulfilled
Love from within


Only one player in the world of solitaire
An invisible body in a group of people
In one place
Lonely in the world,
Lost of love

Losing every rhythm in my heart beat
When you decided to leave me
Happiness isn’t fruitful for me
How will I be able to grow?
Love supposed to be everlasting
Where flowers are not in my world

As I feel an everlasting deceit
As I taste
As I feel
As I see
I feel loneliness

Never known love would make me feel this bad
I rather be at the bottom
Realizing the real you
You made me feel this way
At the ending of all things
Knowing our true desires
Never matched
Within us as a union
We will never be
When knowing the true you
The means to the end is no future for us
While I am on an isle
Living at the bottom
Of broken dreams
Building a commitment
Hoping he would open up to a ring
Living life without his presence

I feel an everlasting deceit
As I taste
As I feel
As I see
I feel loneliness


You want something different
Then I will show the different side of me
You listened to my words of vulnerabilities
As I lived cautiously
You seen my weaknesses
Lost in all your love

I’m smarter than what you think I am
In the midst of your lies,
Disguises of your love,
Forced and persuaded by you
You influenced your trust and security upon me
You had known my insecurities
Trickery was taken as your advantage
When your wants was more important than ours
You divide and conquered to control
You as a whole
Taken the benefits before me

I added up all my figures
Seen all the masks behind all your infatuation
That answered all my questions
To why you saw the different side of me
And it was too late to cover all my vulnerabilities


Is it too much to want a new life
Life with love in it
You don’t have to pay the price
Recite the emptiness of my goals to find my pride

Looking high up in the mountains
And down low at the meadows
He is not profound in existence
His masculinity is my muse
That man from the past already said his last words
Dreaming of a love
A man that will say new words that speak visions
Painting years of my life
That I will soon embrace

Dreaming of a new love
Is that so much to ask?
Only knowing the taint
The daunting in my faith
Wanting to believe
Sitting with my seeds
Wanting a love
To listen to me
In all my intuition
In all the situations
He won’t lie to me
New situations fulfil me with honesty and trust
The perfect equation of love

I have the faith to love again
The power to spread rivers wide
Make mountains stand without cliffs
And warm up all my winter days
In all my situations
I create my own happiness
Where new situations fulfill me
A new love
I will find life


Will I ever prevent the dangers of despair?
In the world of lovers
Will I ever sip the nectar:
Commitment or marriage
And get away with the drink of my choice
Situation after situation
Heartbreak after heartbreak
I am the only one in the world of broken hearts

Will I ever stop listening to the lies?
At the end of time
We stop making associations
Days of sparrows and crows
Will I ever touch the blue skies?

I dreamt of a summer breeze and
His real love running through me
But, whirlwinds of darkness as I wake
Wishing to feel his lips
As good as the sun beams on me
Will I ever feel our woven embrace?
Damn, the only one, in the world of lovers


His attention towards me
Throughout the swallowing all of my pain
I can’t bare to open my heart again
Dare to let another man in
Staring at another set of eyes
Full of love again
Flashbacking myself strangling in my pain
I can’t bare to open my heart again

He wants to talk to me
I can’t bare to open my heart again
Not noticing his own
Throughout the words that he speak
Full of love or questionable lust
His words of persuasion and illusions
Unlocking all my doors
As he speak, there are no secrets
As he gives me the possibilities
Of giving me the world
As we speak, we soon have the entire universe
But I’m afraid to evolve

We stop talking
No words exchanged
We are in no existence

He blows up my phone
I don’t know if I am ready to evolve
A phone call my lead to a lifetime
In reality, in my mind
It may lead to destruction
Broken into pieces
I know this can never ever be me again
Interruptions from my past
From the lies
Is he that same guy?

Running away from the cheaters
The liars
The users
I picked up the phone
Is he that same guy that would call back?
He wants to kiss me
He wants to be with me
He wants to marry me


As I go
I talk about my little woes
It doesn’t matter to me
I smile through the breeze
No matter where the wind blows
I walk in places of meadows

Swaying my hair
I don’t care
In the wind, I live in a world of the happy
Happiness doesn’t come a mile away
I say what my grandma used to say:
That joy comes in the morning
I say that happiness comes a mile a minute
Way back, I see my smile in her
Thanks to her, I’d seen my mother’s passion
As I walk
I see nothing wrong
It doesn’t matter to me
How hard the concrete is
How the rivers dry
I spread my arms under sun anyway
Where there is no answer
To the “why’s” and the “what’s?”
I know everything is okay

To whether or not
I am not lying to you
I know that I am joyful


He raps real stories
He raps life
I feel his rhythm through me
I know him twice through his words
Loving him like roses
Through concrete
Many days of stacks
12 gold cufflinks
He gave me days of even more
Kindness and respect
Of many days I retrospect
And reminisce every Monday
Every Tuesday I am left with big mansions
Couture dresses
Full closets
And all its finesse
He raps real stories
He raps reality
Dividing lust among morals
Yearning for him in longer days
I feel his love running through me
I know his words are about me
Of many days of diamonds
12 chains and rings

He remind me of all the envy
When he is in his studio to the stage
Some of the lyrics are about me
About me, living his life with me

Rhyming lines
He quick wit' it
Lyric by lyric of every sample
I adore all
All of his heart
By the dawn to the darkness of night
When he is on the road
I miss his kisses at the moonlight

He has a hard shell to compete
He make his word well known that move the streets
Yearning for his embrace
Looking for his suave ways to warm up my world
Oh, how I just love the days that he comes home
I tear down his hard shell in this moment
My love is worth many
As many as three Lamborghinis
He is standing tall like he's above the world

Shoulders out, rocking to the music
His arms spread over the audience
Is all what I love
His music

I was there at his sold out concerts
Album parties
I was there
Being there is worth it
All the intuition that we will be there for each other forever
Everyone knew it
All the whether or not's you will be here
Upon our fights
Our fighting seem so small
Whereas our love progresses everyday
Being there is worth it
To wait for you in the limousines and in sold out concerts
Album after every album
Album party after album party
I don't know what is like being without him
Out of the whim
 Being alone
Is a long way to go

I love everything about him
Don't be fooled
I am in love
I know that I will never be alone
We never run out of rendezvous

It is such as good as your sold out albums
I can't never let go of your undeniable infatuation
Your feelings to mine intertwine
As the beading of diamond necklaces
One for tomorrow, today, and for the future
Next to his crucifix

He is the man of my life
It is not like the Benjamins
From where we spending
I never let go
Love all around me
Surrounding me
No way around this kind of love
All around me forever


Can't you be here for one more night
We were together for so many nights
This night is special
Be here is worth it
I look into your brown eyes
All night

Can you stay?
Do you think about me?
On the days you are not free
Our days apart
Make things more special
That's why tonight is right
In spite of our misunderstandings
Our magnitude of love is endless
We depend on us to get better
To be greater

The two of us are inseparable
Our bodies are intertwined
We never want to let go
I know you gotta go
But please stay

For one more night
Tomorrow will be different
Do you still think about me?
On the days that we are apart
Tomorrow I will have on your mind
You would want to do things
Wrap your arms around me
Without to think we should be apart
I don't want to let go
I know you have to go
But please stay

Do you think about me
During your lonely nights?
What can I do to get rid of all the lonely nights?
I come over to stay with you
You say to stay for just one more night
I promise I make the nights so special
I have to go
Time is precious
You don't want to let me go
Your feelings come out
They are hard to bare
Once I put my clothes on
You say please stay for another night

But I have to go
So I left you for a lonely night
Five nights had passed
I can never get the man out of my head
As he put his arms around me the other night
The thoughts and the memories ran through my head

Wishing for another night to stay
I am to proud to beg for another night
As I waited for his call
I really wanted to stay
As I thought
He finally called
As I knew he thought about me
I answered
He asked do you want to stay with me tonight
I said yes with a bright smile
I get to stay another night
Strictly this would be one night
That will never forget
He wrapped his arms around me
He made a night that I never forget
He asked can you stay even longer for one night
I said yes

But I have to be out around nine
Tonight was better than the last
As he kisses me
And holds me
As we talked for hours
About the past
Tomorrow we will make it last
The test of time
When we make phone calls
After last night
Last night I left at nine
To go home
I thought about him looking into his brown eyes
Where I reside
I thought about him even more
As I wanted more for another night
But I have to make sure I leave at nine
I am proud to beg for more
I waited on his call
Our love lasted for one night
But phone calls came in

Where I reside
Talking made it better for us
As we talked about last night
Oh I wish I can rewind that night
As I stayed another night


LATOYA MCCRAY was born in Wilson, North Carolina on June 30,1988. Also, she graduated from E.T. Beddingfield High school in 2006. She has been writing ever since she attended Wilson Community College. Her passion came from writing short stories for the Wilson Literary Review: A Journal of Literature, Culture, and the Arts Journal. She writes street literature like no other. Twists and turns in plots, she specializes in her writing. Creating violent underworlds, she is very good at this type of writing. Not only she writes street literature, but she writes also romance. LaToya McCray depicts her future to write more standalone novels in romance every since her debut novel "He's A Fruitcake." LaToya McCray writes with so much talent in both genres that she even dream to write a mystery/thriller. She writes with talent through many poignant plots with some many interesting characters that possessed in her novels. Her characters came from thought provoking inspirations from many novels that were read throughout her life. She is a fan of Eric Jerome Dickey's mysterious novels such as "Chasing Destiny," "Waking With the Enemies," or "Dying For Revenge" are some examples. Eric Jerome Dickey had proven her ability to write more every day. LaToya McCray hopes and dreams that readers can be entertained and inspired by her writing too. She can inspire other authors as well when they write.

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