Friday, April 1, 2022

LEILA AL SAMARRAI

 


Looking Back In Laughter

 

I remained in the city too long;

Money launderers and ferals of fascism at the temple,

Psychopathy, landlords and gargoyles of Hades,

Ticked the time of my anxiety agonies.

Inconsequential, just look back in laughter.

Adrift from celestial home, cosmic child,

The world reviled, I am alien lost on sordid shores,

Differentiated, solemn soliloquysous to the core.

Evermore infinites, standing alone.

Look back forever in laughter.

Scrying mirror celled phones scream light at zombied fright,

Tribaled in unthinking amorphous greys,

All thoughts delayed, philosophy forbade,

And I am banished from sight.

Look back in cackling.

With knived convulsions, throwing (my) poetry ferociously,

Smelling blood on the wind, smelling the sweat of victim,

…Smelling competition.

Look back in laughter.

Look around…nobody…

Something, someone?…nothing…

Somebody?…nobody in crowns…

Nobody gone to ground…

Nobody is found…

Tomes of related wisdoms nauseate,

The numbers in cruelty mean fate.

Stare intently in tactical laughing.

Strings bind to me in unbreakable unremorseful,

The past hunts behind me.

Medusa drinks me in marbled glass,

In the cruel poison of her irony.

Visages transfixed, trapped in ivory.

Inconsequential…just look back…in laughter.

Out in the transcendence and exiled,

Child of cycling stars wild and purified,

I stand apart, fiery eyed, beautified at surging shores,.

I am hurdling haughty towards the door.

And always now…and forever…

Looking back in laughter.

 

Butterfly Idyll

 

In terrible airy alofts, flying high,

Adrift in anima amnesia’s,

Floating in fernweh forgottens,

A low birth in abyss’s,

Radiance in replete radials from rages

…In furious vortices.

 

You chase enchantment phantoms in Elysian fields,

Drips and drops tell tales to pebbling flowers.

And sea’s shimmering sparkling spray,

Soliloquy’s shadowy opaque on gloaming coasts.

 

Butterflies, lonesome lighthouse sewn shores,

The cannibalistic roses sanguine swell in opening horrors,

The star language songs sing and susurrates,

Tower of Babel nations are euphoric in linguistic relates,

Your Jupiter cult divine drowned in sacrificial wine.

The great oceans with brumal iced crest glistens luminesce,

Turning their faces in adorations to eloquent suns.

 

Fires birthed from hollow clouds eruption,

Butterflied veins in vain combust without refrain,

Butterflying flits in solar circles, dying in flaming cycles,

Swayed wings desperate, flutter flails waves weave.

The sea shudders wide and the earth gasps despondency,

It’s ceasing deceasing pleasing, powers Gods.

Deserving of death, deserving of life…

Let him live…let him die…

Despised executioner, I…

But let departures be without punishment.

The triumphant arrogant live…

…but if only…for one more moment.

 

It floats through sullen azure arches,

Delicates warbles sinking on failing ash spark.

Strained in chained,

Fallen empires cycle timidly,

The swath mutes bitterly.

The screams of the butterfly.

In this witchly silence, the birds have no name.

 

Howled realizations of impending demise,

Roars in restless logos, linguistic anguishing reviles.

The icy knife lunges, twisting in chests,

The dogs went wild from the scent,

Snake holes sent, trails for sour spent.

 

Icarus unspeakable without wings,

Eternal falling resonance in eternity sings.

The unsettling crackling of film off it’s reels,

Whooshing winds of terror revealed,

A thousand knives trembled eyes,

Broken winged horses and broken sighs.

Winged intimacy with deceasing,

Can you hear this breaking mercy?

 

Dropped to knee’s from flight, in front of shining seas light,

Womb burst swallowing lightning, torn harsh flesh darkness in vain,

A new beast is born from the stain.

The cry of the caterpillar.

 

Falling lightning, beast in nerve cell mornings,

Beast in miasmas with air on fire, breath a blazed!

Permeated atmosphere suffused imbued.

She hoods submerging stars and turns off the sun,

She transcends death threshing and flies in the whirlwind storm,

Lunacy grasps the winged with scorn.

 

Transfigurations to sinister,

The harmonies collapse in desolation,

The intestines scream dissolution.

Sinking stars feverishly shaking black,

Red retch blood glares,

The veins swell chthonic flares.

Unquenchable expires,

Unsatiated thirst…fires!

 

This dawn of tamed passion possessed,

Mantles tremble in lowering laments,

The black forests gloam obsidian under black moons,

The earthquakes grumble morbidity too soon.

Dying iris turns transient,

Swallows hushed in sallow hollows,

The Hearances reviled,

The howl of the butterfly.

On this heartbreak soil

Deathly modus’s susurrous’s shipwrecks.

The Reaper ravages us all…

…For loss of her.

 

BUTTERFLY: Death, I heard you while you were breathing...

I heard you while you were sleeping…

I heard you while you were weeping….

I heard you while you were screaming…

Centuries of noosed escape,

Eons of eluding fate.

Shrieked clarions called silent,

On immortal heights.

The laughter of the butterfly.

 

Penny Dreadful

 

Rabisu demon lurking menacing at doors, desert anguishes and roads of bone,

At bittered ends and vicious roaming form, in the dust reeking reborn.

Pouncing lurid predator vampirically, sardonic seizers in scorn,

And whispers: “I’m fascinated by your wicked and lucid appetite for your own useless life.”

In lament from fluttering sent, leaps from window eyed portals denied me,

And whispers: “Oh no, I will bare no escape from existences framed refrain,

I choose you, beautifully lined face with loneliness, losses and clutched crosses.”

 

I am placing maliciousness monsters in the pillory, reaching hangman rivalry,

Oracle with filled eyes of abhorrent horrors, vile villainy, disgusting revelry.

Malice madness in theatrics, harbouring hunts of hauntedness in the gothicness.

My Morrigain, my Mora demoness of dark war and warrior corpses,

She susurrous’s doom and washes the bloody cloaks of the fallen soon,

My one way love affair with fated despair.

 

Cain in crestfallen, commits unforgivable sin against spirit,

The demons converging, surrounding and urging,

The innocent blood screams vengeance from the ground purging.

Corpses long dead roar excavations incarnations,

Incantations transfiguring graves,

Fierce golden reigns irony remains.

Nightmares veins surreal tentacles, tear tense dreams from tight eyelids,

Fang drip foul viles in gnashing violence,

The grand bizarre at the feverished abhorrence carnival,

The glassy eyed emptiness of brumal freak shows.

I smell like sleepwalking, staggering, pale sober disheveled,

The freedom of hurtling heights bridge jumping ecstatically,

Running wild like thrown matches at gasoline.

 

The beauty of illusion bleeding disappointingly,

The nightmare fits it’s grip in bellicose whimpers,

The darkness of the grave takes you delicately,

The screamers sing in outbursts of enthusiasm ringing,

White satin nights in nocturnal delight flinging.

The elusive, unearthly apparition was ignored.

Sorcerer horror summoning hoarse voiced Bael invisible,

King crowned sixty six with demon legions indivisible.

I was born barefoot and harsh in conditioning,

Washing away wounds of violent love eternally.

Handsome insomniacs gently jumped on me,

With eyes blinking surrounding me the world turns disgustingly,

Nauseating turns drunkenly in fits of death shaming me.

I pull back pale, evil spirits rise with days dawning.

In ditched depths collapse and grips his darkened voice is hardening,

Galabiya and long scarfed Ahriman tilts his head in unbearable laughter attacking:

“You’re anguished miseries past entertain me,

You’re fool hardy determinants sustain me.”

The dark figure covers his delusions in ghostly fog,

Hiding the curves of mocking derisive smile mischievous,

The deception of tethered feathered cheerful and devil eyed,

Amused by this Sisyphean pilgrim prides to conjure wild Ahriman.

 

Golden-mouthed perceptively moving, lucidly mystical moving metaphysics assistant,

In a long fluttering dress stirring surfaces into snaking molten lava,

Covering the corrugated cracks in Babylonian sandstone liberally.

 

The fictions, projections creating subconscious,

The evil eye and other Jinnah making iniquity,

One day all will be concluded in concussiveness.

Connecting extremes and insanity to contextually,

Esoteric central core in magic cube of ancient antiquity,

Following flowing pictures through dusked indignities.

Through furtive white crosses fealty and it’s central orange,

Color’s evolve spiral through final chapters doors.

In the end a detachable mixture, a riddle puzzled,

A synapsed seclusion and the task is solved.

 

There are many ways to kill (a man),

And I taught them.

There are many ways to murder (me).

And I brought them.

Oh give me…pain with no repose,

Oh give me…ears that are closed,

Oh give me…mouths with no response,

Oh give me the burden of a new tongued order,

And the skin rhythmed touch of migrating metaphor.

 

Oh his beautiful man, born of demon King Ravana,

Raised in argent ardency dimensions, visionaries,

Silveries through strange pattern properties,

Sacral geometries carnivale spinning pellucidly,

Samhain and Scylla spiral madly metaphysically.

Resolutely, while dying they cut their hair free,

Administration of death in her presence seen.

Lost children eternally, anomalous demons greeting them.

The world flies backwards unreality of what it requires.

Ephemeral to ambiguities flame extinguishing names.

The dead enfold, born moaning into this world.

Celtic God’s and blackened blacksmith sorcery,

Toys in the palms of callous cannibalistic Chronos,

Witches ride wildly for frightful Phobos,

From the bales of fear my private lunacy changes me.

 

Monstrosities grunting courageously,

Mumbling rotten membranes,

Leaves, thorns, beast horns, intestines, heart shadowed scorns,

Fright at might dear antlers dead and red, rusty machinery.

Morning breaks broke blood torments,

Nights in hellish anguish shatters.

He tore all his clothes off, and naked he roars with torched lips,

Lunacy smile wild and wide shadowed caustic fits,

Lives lonesome black buffalo and rabid holy madman.

 

The stalking beast entreats me in rooms without vision,

Where the light will remain hidden,

Save fiery twilight eternally bidden.

“There is nothing that is alive here” it cackles at my shackles,

”If the light is prayed the shadows will explode against expiring,

You do not know what is happening to you, hellish heresy clarity confuse.”

 

I should shake the walls, slam fists to tables expectantly, I said:

“I will make my blood flow like a tap!” I almost didn’t bleed,

I revealed my wound to wise effect of intercede,

He told me to dream.

It’s been a year and still he stands there sirene,

I pound him and drown him, stab him, confounds him,

Nothing moves him.

The world breaks down around him,

He sneers and peels and smears,

He curses and tears,

And breaks…

And cuts like a beast.

 

I’m Dying Roman

 

Roman nights ravenous roiled cloth scarlet skies,

Highlights, horrifying histories rolling wheels,

Beneath bronze brazen bright bare heels.

Sheathed in salacious fraught in pagan minds divine.

 

Centuries stand strident in phalanx,

Gaul and Carthage in Punic’s green retreating,

Machinations expansion explosions engineered.

We are crossing the Rubicon,

Man made God, Julius Caesar revered.

 

“Mars Exulti!” rumbles bellicose from behind shields,

Murmurs to bellows ominous escalating rages,

Thunders from voices vicious escaping cages,

Legio Aeterna Victrix proud shakes the ground aloud,

Barbarians raining terror driven out forever.

 

The she-wolf still spins wild sanctities,

Howling screams against screens and scaffolding safeguard,

Hunting confinement malignment means.

The wings barred disease,

Airways ring no reprieve in the eternal streets.

 

Ash and iron curse justice for betray,

Sacrifice smiting those that walk astray,

The underworld God’s obey my name.

The knife strikes disposed drama ramming,

Their whole being crushed in the damning.

 

Coal and smoke, tar sills quivering in rage,

Outskirts mob morale delayed in a scarce age,

Furious fists fighting futile battlements.

Augustus screams “Mars wake up!”

Shaken spears engaged in fevered rampage.

 

Gorgon’s rattling riddles in Octavian dreams,

Actium and Philippi tearing me at the seems,

Marching ides chorus in tumultuous tides,

Neptune’s imbibes my failure, sea crashing collides.

 

Brace the dagger where Alexander once stood,

Gasped last breathes, in shallowing descent,

Cleopatra in venomous raptures consumed.

The fleeting forces, life, pulsing to perdition,

Dis Pater Pluto seeking coins for admission.

 

The paths for miles, leading me back home to Roma,

Tentacle’s roads ravishing the world.

Coliseum crumbling’s ruins to rumbles,

When she falls, so weeps the world.

Rome is dying.

And I’m dying Roman.

 

The suns jaws flair Sol Invictus in sacrifice.

The gladius turns, swelling exsanguinating my Niles,

The funeral pyre wins, flames consuming black my sin,

27 unforeseen knives, spartha to self suicide taking life.

Venom and mercenaries, poison and thrumming armies,

Anubis remorseless turns pitiless his eyes.

And somewhere behind the names…

I’ve lived savage and despised,

I’ve sooted my eyes…

But I’m dying Roman.


Thus Spoke My Mother

 

You do not grasp – the spilled blood is chiming

From unveiling you wrongfully dread

In agony of you yourself

While we pine atop Grecian terraces.

 

Daughter

Still rivers are audible in endeavor

And at that conjoined

 

In mirrors is the road to land of dead

And worshippers of the chronometer

And the unachievable bloom of summer

 

Put the pigeon on the fire my daughter

We are going to satiate ourselves

Grasshoppers as well my daughter

Before they abandon us through the windows

 

I forefeel that the unreliable man

quiets his breath and embarks on the way

of Beauty, Ordinance and Wars

 

The signs along the path are the only thing left for you

 

Thus spoke my mother.

 

Seek no longer the soil

Forgotten among the trees

Under which you were born

 

In the chosen night

When the grasshoppers flew away from the terraces

Into the heap of voices filled with hatred

Directed towards me

 

Silent mother

Not even a sound to flicker within me

How could I have known

About the other side of maps

 

Are they coming yet to take me

Rooted in the last morning of a bullet

 

I arise barefoot

The sea is frightened

Like ground from thunder

 

  LEILA SAMARRAI

LEILA SAMARRAI was born on October 19th, 1976 in Kragujevac, Serbia. She writes poetry, short stories, and plays, her work largely containing the motives of fantasy and humor. Her debut collection of poetry „The Darkness Will Understand“won the First Prize in the competition organized by the Student cultural center of Kragujevac in 2002. She has had her work published in numerous local magazines, both in print and electronic form. Some of her notable works include the collection of short stories „The Adventures of Boris K.“ by Everest Media and (as co-author and critic) „Poetry Against Terror: A Tribute to the Victims of Terrorism Kindle Edition“. Her works were published in Serbian, Hungarian, and English. She has won numerous awards for her written works, including third place as a representative of Serbia for the aphorism „Stars and Us“ of the „Beleg“ competition and three separate awards in the „3-5-7 – A Story in a Moment“ story competition, as part of the „Helly Cherry“ competition, both in 2011. She currently lives in Belgrade with her three cats. Samarrai uses absurdism and the elements of farce in her plays. She favors surreal short stories, horror fiction, satire, and humoresque, enjoying the vaudeville style of structure interwoven with the style of “Pythonesque” stories. Her goal in literature is to weave fantastic realism into horror fiction, as well as utilizing magical realism and the surreal.


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