Don`T I Look The World With The Eyes Of Seventeen
Milyon Refugee Children?...
Already children
are unhappy in my soul As the gaps grow ...
My pain lasts
like winter nights
While a
Chernobyl silence reigned in my heart ...
What are these
Khojaly cries, Arakan reliefs in my mind? As you don't remember me as East
Turkestan, my dear, More stinking hands than Yamuna trying to caress my hair
Then you walk
away from me with a meteorite indifference ... The whole earth is praying for
it,
Exept me ... Are
you aware?
All April 1 is
still celebrated as the Day of Laughter in this world... Oh pitty you are the
Children's Day of the world
Which starving
250 million children … Your laughs are not sincerely…
But you still
laugh ...
Are you the
center of the whole world?
Why does
everyone congratulate you, as everyone congratulates a pilot? And dispatcher?
A question make
me anxious since my childhood ... How did Heyly kill Gwen?
Why do straight
concepts make happy everyone? Is this Euclid's disease?
Why is everyone
afraid of origami loves? While you look at the world from the palaces. My
non-existent world is rolling
To Anderson's
tales,
All the
butterflies laugh disgustly to the length of my life, Even little Saxes,
nicknamed Sinober ...
I hear the
squeaks of fried spiders at the base of their teeth ... I don't believe the
tales you tell me anymore –
Also to
Duymajik...
As you test me
with afar,
The laughings
tasting coffee antidepressant influence drops to my world ... The sun doesn`t
rise in my soul today
While all want
to touch my wounds. So why am I so happy in my ruins? Does that make you angry,
my dear?
Don`t I look the
world wıth the eyes of seventeen milyon refugee children?... But I know that
you are the cause of all these shortcomings.
Fish Swims In My Spirit ...
I want to live
without thinking.
Gifting all the
rain of thought to dry deserts, and so quietly, I want to live silently.
My thoughts
disturb my silent. My heartbeats disturb me.
I hear my blood
circulation.
The sound of my
broken dreams.
As I realize the
worthlessness of values, my soul kneels in front of the evil as the most
helpless, helpless ...
I can't get up
as I try to get up, my knees are bleeding with ruins of confidence. The
realities nettle my soul as the example of the nettle.
I feel suffocate
with rage...
No, it looks
like I'm drowning ...
I do not want to
raise my hands and fight.
The waters of
all the oceans fill to my body from my eyes. I see everything in blue.
Fish swim in my
soul. My hair is algae.
My tears are
flowing ... Fish swim in my soul...
All the goldfish
are helpless in front of my wishes ...
I want to tear
down the last cries of the man in my soul. I want to be quiet.
My thoughts make
mermaids laugh ....
Rocks are rubbed
in my palms ...
There are
vortices.
Waves do not
push me to shore.
I annoy the
waters of the ocean ...
My crossing high
sea the waves of the ocean cannot bear. I'm looking for all the lost sailors,
sunken ships ...
I want to lose
my brain longing for the feeling of disappearance. In the Mariana trench.
I want to take
refuge in the Bermuda Triangle ...
I would like to
find those shafts left over from the “Titanic” and ask Chopin to listen to me.
I'm crushed, I'm falling apart ...
I am going to be
fragmented.
I fill the pores
of the ocean stones.
Then a cloud
steals my soul, I rise, I fly ...
I get algae and
finally bluish again ...
I annoy the sky
...
Clouds bring me
back to earth ...
The angels do
not need even "when Caesar's right given to Caesar", fleeing from the
weaknesses of humanity ...
I am thrown into
the "cursed" land. Only the land understands me.
He allows me to
take refuge in him. The roots of an old oak embrace me. God gifts me different
colors.
I refuse. Never
want those pale cynical colors. I never get permission by anyone.
I want to be
free.
I don`t want to
be indifferent roses,
I don't want to
be a goldfish; I don't want to be a human ...
You don't like
red, my dear, you know that goldfish are not gold ... You don't love people
either, my dear, I know that ...
But you love
violets.
Oh It seems I am
turning violet slowly.
Van Goghun Sorrow Is Sadder Perhaps, But For The First
Time I Saw The Waste Of The World In All Your Laughter!
Today I saw the
Chernobyl of the oldest people in your eyes. Today, for the first time, I
sobbed like old people.
I reconciled
with my fate, as a toy in a baby's cradle, doomed to eternal silence. Like the
noisy signs of rusted hopes deafening,
everything was
unthinkable, helpless, but lifeless. Today your lips were freeze as the corpse,
were dirty. I loved you, but for the first time was afraid of you.
I saw a group of
red-clad angels without wings in the deserts of innocence turned into a lake of
blood.
All the swans
are tired, the laws chewed, I saw the sky covered with spider webs.
Today I saw
surrendered the stars, the moon, and even the sun that I loved.
For the first
time, for the first time, I gathered all my courage and opened my eyes wide,
very wide as wide as possible.
For the first
time, I was ashamed the nakedness of realities. Today all your kisses were same
shape and annoying Your words was boring my heartbeat!
The sand grains
were weathering my pupillary as much as possible. I saw all the flowers in the
Arab Spring withered.
For the first
time today, I cried with one eye for my today and past!
For the first
time, I saw my shores abandoned and ships without a compass. Van Goghun Sorrow
is sadder, perhaps,
but for the
first time I saw the waste of the world in all your laughter!
your
oil-smelling lies with nicotine-like irritability draging my existence into a
stupid habit ...
While my cheeks
rubbed into her outstretched hands for comfort ... Today, for the first time, I
saw my mother old.
NARGIZ ISMAYILOVA
NARGIZ ISMAYILOVA was born on March 12, 1986 in Ordubad. In 2008 she graduated from Nakhchivan State University with a degree in "Azerbaijani language and literature", and in 2012 from Ganja State University with a degree in "Literature of Foreign Peoples" with honors. Nargiz Ismayilova worked as a senior researcher at the Department of Literary Studies of the Institute of Literature and Art at the Nakhchivan Branch of ANAS. She served as Chairman of the Council of Young Scientists and Specialists of the department. She is a doctoral student of the Department of World Literature and Comparative Studies of the Institute of Literature named after Nizami of ANAS and conducts scientific research in the field of "Azerbaijani prose of postmodernism and independence in Italian literature". She is a member of the Azerbaijan Writers 'Union, the Azerbaijan Journalists' Union and the World Union of Young Turkish Writers. She is a Doctor of Philosophy in Philology, majoring in "Azerbaijani Literature" and "World Literature". She is the author of 2 monographs, 60 scientific, more than 400 newspaper articles, 7 fiction, 8 translated works. Nargiz Ismayilova was awarded the "Ali Bey Huseynzadeh Award" established by the Writers' Union of Azerbaijan and the "Literary Newspaper" in 2017. She was elected "Writer of the Year" and "Journalist of the Year" in our autonomous republic. She was awarded the honorary diploma "Scientist of the Year" of the Nakhchivan Branch of ANAS. She was awarded at the IV Euroasian Literary Festival of Festivals (LIFFT) in Baku. She is a Presidential Award winner. She is the project manager of the international conference "A bridge from Nakhchivan to Konya: Nematullah Nakhchivani".
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