MARIAN EIKELHOF

MARIAN EIKELHOF

Chile, 1973

Dedicated To Victor Jara

Guess that's how it went

he had to stand there

under the burning sun

tied

as if he had a clue where to go

the hatred of the executioner

burnt right through his soul

he thought about her...

her smile

the dress she wore that day

and the kiss she gave him

thoughtlessly

as he would not be away for long

come back home the very same day.

his thoughts fell on the ground like drops of blood

like the tears of his beloved land

like the names of your father, your brother, your son, your husband

and like all those songs I cannot sing for you

about the tender dreams

in the heart of a fallen man.

Scary

Birds still die in your violent silences

no longer sing in the poison of your hatred

losing their wings, their self-esteem

Like me.

It's scary being always the last person in a row

It's scary when they make your name swim in blood

It's scary when you're forgotten

It's scary not to be invited to the party

It's scary to be less appreciated, less loved, less preferred

It's scary to be rejected

to be dispensed, eliminated, isolated

not loved

It's scary when they laugh at you

It's scary being humiliated

feeling powerless

crippled by gossip, being the third person

on the bus of your youth, sitting on your own

life forever without safety belt

It's very, very scary to be terrorized.

Without You

The memory of your loving smile

 lingers on in my life,

caressing my soul so deep inside.

Only now I understand

why you waved at airplanes

while we were having a reunion

about numbers, death to come

and I am quite sure now

I will not meet you anymore

neither in my life

nor in yours

I have awaited some stars

and illuminated visions

whether to find out

if I could still see you

somewhere

some time

dancing with my heart in your hand

leaning on your laugh

my memory slowly cooled down

it became cold

it became night.

Pompeii

And suddenly...

I am this ancient soul

a woman

more than

four thousand years old

carrying nothing on my back

but water

soon I will be home

where my sweetheart

waits for me

coming out

of the bath house

fresh, shining and

loving me

carrying nothing on my back

but water

I don’t know the lava will come

and overflow me

don't know I will be found back

in one piece

and I am still unaware

the earth will be no longer mine

within a period of time

carrying nothing on my back

but water.

Caged

Why do you ask me

Whether I feel unhappy

And if my day takes a bath in despair

captured within four walls

only wifi, virtual hugs, no kisses

slowly freezing

in a doomed scenario

assuming my house is not a castle

but a prison

leaving my body sleepless

in need of alcohol, pills,

addicted to an illusion

silencing my fear

the concept of fatality

as if missing fresh air

is as bad as being on a ventilator

fighting for your breath

blood clots in your lungs

nurses dressed

in astronaut suits

being your only angels

guiding you from the pandemic

to the road of death.

MARIAN EIKELHOF

MARIAN EIKELHOF is a poet who works in her daily life as a psychologist. Her work inspires her to write about the emotional aspects of life. Not only she describes feelings of love, intimacy and desire, but also she reflects about states of profound sadness and feelings of emptiness. On the whole she criticizes dehumanisation and an ongoing process of alienation in human relationships. Marian’s poetry book “ a zero hour contract with life” has been translated from Dutch into English and Turkish. For children who are being bullied, she wrote the book “Lekker Boeiend!” (“I am not impressed!”) and together with her sister Els Eikelhof she has written the manual “Feel yourself Okay” for teachers guiding children with a disability. Her poems have been published by several prestigious magazines and Marian is a peace activist defending humanity by attending poetry festivals in Europe and Latin America.