BARBARA EHRENTREU

BARBARA EHRENTREU

FEELING AMBIVALENT AND YEARNING

FOR

A MODICUM OF DECENCY FROM HER LOVER

She had ambivalent feelings for him

loving the excitement she felt by his side

The same as hearing those high

electronic notes played by a musician

she had seen at a concert with

whole verses of poetry in his fingers as they

roamed over the strings --

whose music soared within her –pouring his

passion into her soul as it pushed her

closer to the crescendo in bright

ever-reaching-higher notes

Lifting her from her seat to stand and dance as

she flew toward the stage In her mind

– the sounds crashing through her in wild

abandon – an orgasm from the music

surging through her body in the same way as

holding her lover’s hand had once made her feel

How he leaned his head toward her

and smiled as he whispered tender words into her ear

telling her a poem with his eyes

Stoking the embers of desire with only a glance

Caressing her skin with gentle fingers

Playing with her as if she were a new toy

She lived for these times and wondered if

those were all they had -- if they were right

for each other – a perfect match –not dissonant

Then she remembered when

he had ignored her for his friends and

stayed out late with an excuse he needed fun

Or when he had forgotten to call her and she

waited for him to arrive

as she stared at a cold dinner in front of her.

This ambivalent feeling came and went

as he played his game of chance behavior

switching between attentive lover and lout

until she felt she couldn't’ stand it anymore

That if he had a modicum of decency he would

stop this behavior and come back to her –

her once gentle lover

whose smile played a riff into her heart

She wanted the music back in her life

The jimmy Hendrix sound that enticed her

and made her mind fly into a new dimension

Ecstasy translated into ascending notes

seeming almost to reach to infinity

Blowing away the bitter and replacing it

with the sweetness of a barrage of notes

She wanted him to be the musician

and pluck his strings as she rose to the sky

Copyright 2018 by Barbara Ehrentreu

Originally posted in The Garden of Poetry and Prose

THE AGONY OF VINCENT VAN GOGH AS SEEN IN STARRY NIGHT

The sky swirled in pinwheels slashed across it

with yellow orbs poking through the

midnight blue twirling as they shone

weakly on the peaceful scene below

Probably painted in the daylight

depicting the inner workings of this doomed artist

Perhaps this scene is not so tranquil

as it appears

with its sinister looking tower

perhaps hiding a darkling imprisoned there

for protection from himself

For this artist moonlight illuminated the evil

hiding behind a provincial façade

as he tried to make sense of a world

in which he could not partake anymore

as the aurora of his deteriorating mind

held onto the few grains of sanity that remained

What darkling inhabited that tortured man

as he struggled to continue his life?

The evil coursing through trembling fingers

as the blade found its way to

the soft peach fuzz of his earlobe

Maybe he caressed if awhile before

he grabbed at it and sliced --a revision no artist could truly want

The outward sign of his deteriorating sanity

Did the blood pool on the floor

reflecting the light in an aurora of colors?

Staining it forever in a painting of insanity

Brush strokes broadly covering his entire life

until the old one no longer existed and

vanished with his old persona

until the old replaced the new

and insanity reigned everywhere

especially in the calmness of moonlight

Serene turned to nightmare by the dark thoughts

trapped in his twisted mind

with no outlet except the paint on canvas

to carry the sorrow that had crept into him

erasing the old and transforming him into

the artist who carried a darkling in his soul.

Copyright 2018 by Barbara Ehrentreu

Originally posted in The Garden of Poetry and Prose

WINGING TOWARD ETERNITY

If only the rain could wash away the tears and pain

shed for so long the salt has caked upon my cheeks

And the taste of you is a remembered flavor

fading as the years go by - but the memory lingers

a pleasure never forgotten

And I remember the year we watched the parched earth

drink of the summer rain in a country we were only

borrowing for a few months and whose pink golden sunsets

remain in my eyes even to this day as you stood with me

as the rain vanished and the setting sun coated the

scenery with its rosy essence – a sumptuous feast for

our heat seared bodies as a cool breeze flicked over our skin

We vowed to come back but we never returned to that place

that lives in my memory as a magical adventure

And the sights and aromas of the streets linger too

Reminder of a time when we were enough

You were always the explorer and I content to walk at your side

comforted by your presence and willing to see the new places

to sample the exciting and tantalizing accouterments of each one

secure that you would be there always – to forge the path

Never realizing life could rain upon us and instead of a peaceful sunset

at the end of the day there would be a series of storms and finally

a whirlwind created by a disastrous tornado

rolling through our life and capturing you inside -

the one force we had not considered

At least I hadn’t thought of you disappearing without a trace

only memories left to fill the void

The rain of life came pouring onto us and you were not

to survive as the thunder and lightening ate away at you

until you were only a shell and finally disappeared -

as if you were the riverbank slipping away with the

force of the water

But you had passion and fire and all of that should have

sufficed – except the foundation had crumbled and

you could not be saved and quietly you were absorbed

by the overwhelming vastness of the sea as

your soul, it is hoped, winged upward toward eternity

Copyright 2018 by Barbara Ehrentreu

Originally posted in The Garden of Poetry and Prose

BARBARA EHRENTREU

BARBARA EHRENTREU grew up in Brooklyn and moved to Queens. She has lived and taught in Long Island, Buffalo, NY and Westchester, NY as well as a year in Los Angeles, CA. She has a Masters Degree in Reading and Writing K-12. Currently she is retired from teaching and living in Stamford, CT with her family. If I Could Be Like Jennifer Taylor, her first novel, won second prize in Preditors & Editors as Best Young Adult Book for 2011. It was inspired by Paula Danziger for her children's writing workshop at Manhattanville College, and her second novel, After is now available in print. Barbara also writes poetry. She has a book called You’ll Probably Forget Me: Living With and Without Hal, which is a memorial to her deceased husband. Several of her poems are published in the anthologies, World Poetry Open Mic, several international anthologies, Queen, Prompted: An International Collection of Poetry, Beyond the Dark Room, Storm Cycle and Backlit Barbell. Her short screenplay, “The Kiss” won awards at film festivals. Barbara is a regular contributor to the Facebook page: “The Garden of Poetry and Prose” and Motivational Strips. She has a blog, Barbara's Meanderings, and hosts a radio show on Blog Talk Radio, Red River Radio Tales from the Pages, once a month. She is a member of Greenwich Pen Letters and SCBWI.