C. MICHAEL MILLER

 

C. MICHAEL MILLER

 

Collations

 

Spent time enough      upon this road

 

to know the things       I think are gold

 

don’t give a hoot         bout wealth or fame

 

if you’re famous          and made a name

 

 

My life’s simple           have my own dreams

 

my own pursuits         and my own leans

 

but these are those     that let me see

 

what lies in you           your own beauty

 

 

I understand               what you’ve been through

 

though life’s unique     but similar too

 

you own your joy        as I do mine

 

its ups and downs       the unsublime

 

 

I’ve experienced life    and all it’s dirt

 

our ecstasies              of all our hurt

 

foolish man said         I crossed the line

 

I wasn’t worth            his thought or time

 

 

Forgive me now         should I not see

 

all the meaning          your life needs be

 

sometimes I’m bound in my own thought

 

to remember             what life has taught

 

 

That I glory               in what is you

 

individuality               it’s what we do

 

I’ve shed my tears      and held your hand

 

same under stars       the same earth stand

COPYRIGHT © 2013 C Michael Miller

via Duboff Law Group LLC

 

 

 

Broken Girl

 

I waited for you to draw near

my beauty was only veneer

you asked me to love

and I could not

not as I ought

I knew I would bring

unhappiness and I

have turned away from you

because to bring you pain

sears my soul, I am not whole

but I am a hole, empty

without you

I am to broken to hold

what you give, it leaks

through me like a sieve

I cannot hold it

I have lost it and it is gone

So, I carry on

would that I could have stayed

unafraid, that my touch

could harm you, to my alarm

and I slipped by you at last

I am your past

COPYRIGHT © 2009 C Michael Miller

via Duboff Law Group LLC

 

 

 

The Forge

 

I remember the beach sand and swing

when you and mother were still something

I remember the ducks in the lake

you held my hand watching their wake

I remember the sheep dogs when the day was through

and the mornings grass all covered with dew

I remember the dead man and blood on the floor

my hand in my mothers as she went for the door

I remember the stairs I thought I’d fall through

and the building where she was hidden from you

she tried drowning me in the bath and the tub

her hands on my throat on the dining room rug

the pain of the walls where my body flew

the floor of the closet when she was through

I remember you entering the door

as you picked up my body from off the floor

the words were so ugly I’ve forgotten them now

but things haven’t changed much anyhow

I remember the willows and switches not few

a home not mine and the children were new

a string of families never seeming to end

the abuse and the beatings I’m not on the mend

I remember the the rage and the red flushed face

what did I do to fall from your grace

I remember the fear when I tried to hide

the man and the 2by4 when it hit my side

the bruise and welts with noone to care

my mother and father aren’t even there

I remember the family that took me in

they had no daughter just two young men

one boy was loving the other was slime

but the parents protected me most of the time

I was safe for awhile with nightmares not few

and some of my demons she helped to slew

I remember you taking me home at last

you had remarried some six months past

I remember the woman was cruel and mean

she remained that way till I was sixteen

At fifteen I had been already raped twice

the drugs and pills and the wrist yet to slice

I remember the police to the hospital sped

the straight jacket and thorazine I should have been dead

I remember the airplane that sent me away

with my half brothers mother I was to stay

my neck with a forearm pinned to the wall

my half brothers brother screaming he will have all

I remember the screaming as I flew down the stairs

his violence had caught me totally unawares

the pain as he smashed me on the walls of the hall

the kicks in the ribs after my fall

the nine months I walked in a state of fear

how I passed my classes is very unclear

I remember the man when I hitched into town

the car was a sedan of dirty brown

the doors had no handles no way to get out

he pulled out a knife and proceeded to shout

how he would cut me and make me bleed

if I didn’t fill some sort of need

how I grabbed the wheel for steering the car

when he slammed on the brakes down the road not far

when he slid out the door by the side of the road

it seemed to me that all time had slowed

he released me with curses not language unknown

from the cage of his car this bird had flown

I remember the man preaching justice and truth

but to find answers one must become sleuth

I remember the marriage and I made him swear

that to hit or harm me he must never dare

I remember the baby with curls of gold

by seventeen to marriage my father me sold

I remember the lapses of time I had lost

the forge of my youth and the price it had cost

the thread that kept me alive was so thin

in my mind it was always me against him

I remember the children that helped keep me sane

with some sort of focus with the man I had lain

I remember the striving for some sort of truth

what kind of a mother my children had in their youth

I remember it all so plain and clear

that violence from men will always be near

I swore at sixteen no child to have

if you couldn’t play safely with joy and a laugh

forgive me my children for bringing you here

the reasons I do things are sometimes not clear

My parents are gone and I do not mourn

but only for the life I was never shown

I did try to spare you the same kind of fate

I hoped that my love would be never to late

I had no control of the time or the chance

that injustice would look upon you with his glance

I raise my eyes to the heavens and vent to his name

to save all the children who are yet put thru shame

In a blast furnace my life has been forged

the tool of the hammer has formed my discourse

in molten metal I have been shaped

the tool of another I have not escaped

what of the purpose he hopes to hew

a piece of equipment all shiny and new

I remember my maker and the state of his grace

the road laid before me and the words of his face

the view of my nature he seeks to tame

with so many others who walk in the flame

in wails united to pull heaven down

and with its brightness scour the ground

his promise to do so has not yet passed

when all of mankind will feel his blast

the call has gone forth the meaning is clear

to give an accounting is so very near

those who think themselves high shall be made low

the dust of the earth their destined to know

the one that I follow has carved out the path

his star has shown brightly beneath thorn and the lash

I reach my arm forth to take hold his hand

to walk among human’s woman and man

he paints a clear future for those of us all

a paradise lost to man in his fall

COPYRIGHT © 2009 C Michael Miller

via Duboff Law Group LLC

 

 

 

Abodes

 

There isn’t a place I haven’t abode

a river mansion or a tree by the road

in a multitude of places not our home

from commune havens to being alone

 

Was cold and hungry and lived on the street

with two small children and nothing to eat

I asked you to care and you threw us away

erased all my words despised what I say

 

We’ve slept in the fields and a bus stop bench

none who cared to help when in a pinch

I’ve seen men at their worst and their best

the crazy ones who took us in as their guest

 

Lived in house that had no doors

got one now by the oceans shores

I have lived with plenty and without a dime

the people I remember gave us their time

 

The sectarian churches have I attended

but so few hearts their revivals amended

no sect can save you when you stand before God

if you haven’t learned love your thoughts still flawed

 

I’ve been coast to coast livin’ on the street

the stories I can tell bout the people we meet

the cars that stopped with sacks for a meal

so the children had milk and oranges to peel

 

I’ve been close to heaven definitely hell

felt the sleep of death for preference dwell

the most important lesson I ever learned

it is by the forge my wisdom earned

 

I’ve read the Bible so many times

stories of love and hate for hearts reminds

what a man would do to acquire affection

cave to opinions to avoid rejection

 

I know I will always consider you

knowing I don’t know what you’ve been through

you can rest assured I’m here to learn

my choices are the only ones I can turn

 

I could wax eloquent on prophecy

but like Paul don’t matter if loves not in me

to every kind of learning sold my soul

but if you don’t count my hearts not whole

 

So much in life we have to consider

experiences that can help or hinder

the so called guidance that many teach

a whole new Talmud do they preach

 

Funny thing in the Word of God

they were royalty or in sandals shod

one can never judge by their appearance

by their outside to truths adherence

 

I read every mythology by grade seven

all their thoughts bout hell and heaven

the Bible teaches that death is sleep

till the resurrections judgments keep

 

If you don’t examine all things taught

you won’t know the lies that live in thought

if you think you already know all truth

and that learning is only sought in youth

 

When you’ve unraveled the knowledge of the universe

and fully apprehend and can death reverse

when you are perfect and my attention demand

and like my Lord extend understand

 

I’ll always give a care about who you are

but if Loves not your teacher you’re not my STAR

if you don’t seek love for earths family

what possible connection could you find in me

COPYRIGHT © 2012 C Michael Miller

Via Duboff Law Group LLC

 

 

 

Fallen

 

Oh molten heart thine pain within must shed

of having Loved among the living dead

God forgive unto me my flowing tears

to you I kneel and give you all my fears

 

And crests the agony that washes earthy shore

of having Loved and been Loved no more

within it’s endless seas have I drown

to take mine joy and cast it to the ground

 

Oh God forgive me a woman’s heart

when love of one has stolen every part

and bowed beneath the burden of the weight

to careless with my feelings and lightly take

 

Mine self been captured by netted snare

in the depth of well and love thats dwelling there

to exposed myself to one too blind to see

and giving him the gifts that comes from thee

 

To have cast the line of ecstasy and joy

and fished the depths of girl to loving boy

to have hoped within the seed to germ

or to count the cost if heart did spurn

 

And have thought this the one so carefully sought

wherein my safety and protection eternal caught

the rock foundation where Love can build it’s home

in the unity of two hearts and minds as one

 

I had thought mine heart with gentle man to share

passion for Life and within indwelling of my care

thought naked soul like to my God I bare

and the depth of the well abiding there

 

To wish I had the gift of crippled ones to heal

the power of his Love no adversary can ever steal

to lift the broken souls up from their ashes

and to find heavenly treasures within their caches

 

Oh beloved man to you my heart have given

that within the bonds of True Love continue living

thou couldn’t have my half and whole

that unto our God be as a single soul

 

Oh worthless slave am I to my masters call

to keep my duties and give to him my all

to teach me love upon his beck with comprehension small

that to his favor and freedom may never fall

 

To be despised is more agony than I can bare

from the one heart has chosen for it’s care

for Truth and Love have only sought to share

and the many treasures residing there

 

For the anointed is Ruler and King of me

for he does govern and measure all I see

and has foretold upon the wings of prophecy

what shall come to pass and what will be

 

When simple truth do so many think profound

where babes and children play upon it’s ground

it’s existence is innocence and Love so sound

and to give it it’s returns a fourfold mound

 

Cast your bread upon the waters if you dare

because Love cannot be confined but meant to share

but beware that what you Love isn’t Satan’s snare

and we be found not wheat but thorny tare

 

For somehow my love found my evil so indwelling

and to delete me and despise he found compelling

I cannot lift mine eyes to look upon his face

for that something shameful by him I found disgrace

 

sources Ecc. 11:1 Song of Solomon 8:6-7

1John 1:1-5 4:7-21

 

COPYRIGHT © 2010 C Michael Miller

via Duboff Law Group LLC

 

 

C. MICHAEL MILLER

 

C. MICHAEL MILLER: Voracious reader, love ancient Historians and tracing ideology and belief systems, love people of every sort even if I don't agree on lifestyle makes for good study and intro- duction to new ideas that of course must be researched. Profound interest in philosophy, art, science, history, and the great teachers whose words of wisdom have been so deftly passed down in time, complicated, simple, thoughtful, inquisitive, love the deep woods and all of nature from earth to universe. Research on anything I want to learn, exploring new areas love the back roads into the hills, writing and screaming on paper. People watching, inciting others to think.