Friday, December 1, 2023

MARIAN EIKELHOF

 



Caged

 

Why do you ask me

Whether I feel unhappy

And whether my day takes a bath in despair.

 

Captured within four walls

only wifi, virtual hugs, no kisses

Slowly freezing

In a doomed scenario.

 

Why do you assume my house is not a castle

but a prison,

and I should be desperate to get back my freedom

in stead of mourning about the lost.

 

As if missing fresh air

is as terrifying as being on a ventilator

fighting for breath

blood clots in your lungs.

 

Nurses in astronaut suits

as your only angels

guiding you on the road of death

 

Isolated from the ones you love

You die alone.

 

Scary

 

Birds still die in your violent silences

no longer sing in the poison of your hatred

losing their wings, their self-esteem

Like me.

 

It's scary being always the last person in a row 

 It's scary when they make your name swim in blood  

 It's scary when you're forgotten    

 It's scary not to be invited to the party 

 It's scary to be less appreciated, less loved, less preferred 

 It's scary to be rejected 

to be dispensed, eliminated, isolated

not loved

 It's scary when they laugh at you

Making fun of your pain

 It's scary being humiliated

feeling powerless

crippled by gossip

left out as the third person

life forever without safety belt

It's very, very scary to be terrorized.

 

Death Bells

 

I don’t need to hold your heart

to feel it loves me

from a meter distance

I can sense your tenderness

when you have any time left

for us

please spend your last minutes with me

let’s forget about statistics

the sterile side of numbers

wash of the shamelessness

pain

every two o clock in the afternoon

when we hear the death bells ring

lay your head in my lap

we will be endless

masters of the sky

beyond any virus

for who knows how far a sick bird can still fly....

and how underlying suffering

can have strong and proud wings

new and challenging possibilities

as there is no end to infinity

dreams and aspirations

And may it be no more than a day

another sleepless night

or as long as a nightmare lasts

lets not be scared

let us live

let us love.

 

 

MARIAN EIKELHOF


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